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MAGFest 2017 (01-09-17)

This post originally appeared on 1/9/17.

Holy shit! Has it been a year already?! Actually, no. It's been closer to 11 months and if you missed last year's post you've got some catching up to do. MAGFest 2016


I guess I hyped the event pretty well last year because this time Drew decided to join. We stayed at a hotel this year rather than being cheap and driving back each night. It's also a business write-off and according to our soon-to-be president, operating at a loss and paying zero taxes is "smart."

First things first, grab a badge and since nothing has changed since last year, I'm still a BAMF.

Drew and I were on the hunt for one Mr. Alexander Brandon. You see, he wrote some of the music for Deus Ex, and it just so happens we did a cover of the UNATCO theme.

Alex was a really cool dude. We caught up with him shortly after he did a one-man performance of Star Wars: A New Hope fully from memory (insane, and fucking hilarious). He loved our take on the UNATCO theme a provided some great feedback.

I decided to swing by the comedy show not really expecting much because nerds have a lame sense of humor (take me for example), but Tommy Kang killed it. He told the story of how he auditioned for the role of "chinese laundry worker #2" which only had one line. So, he spent a good week practicing his line in a stereotypical, borderline racist accent, "youuuu get out of my store right nooooowwwww!" He goes to the audition and the director is like, "WTF are you doing? You're supposed to say it in Chinese." Tommy is Korean. He didn't land the role.

Next, we caught a panel about collaborating with multiple artists led by Sebastian Wolff of Loudr and the Materia Collective, Andrew Aversa from OCRemix, and a couple of other cool guys. They talked about their insane endeavors that led to the existence of 97 track albums and what it takes to manage such a project. Maybe not something I would want to organize, but I'd love to be a part of it. After the panel, we chatted up Nate Horsfall who runs Lightning Arts. He was a wealth of knowledge.

Ok, business handled. Now it was time to hit the Dwelling of Duels listening party. Storytime! We decided to enter their competition this month with a rendition of the Ducktales Moon Theme. It was Drew's idea to make it an 80's power ballad, complete with cheesy lyrics. I really wanted no part of it because it seemed off-brand and I felt adding words to the song might really turn people off. I eventually relented and we put the song together in three days, just in time for the submission deadline.

There we were at the listening party and I am dreading the reaction from the crowd when our song comes up. Here's what went down:

They totally got it! I'm no longer ashamed to have been a part of that song. Here it is in its full glory:

Day 2

I ran into Mike from Bit Brigade downstairs selling merch. The poorsound fonts guy looked hungover AF. I told him thanks for sweating on me last year and wished him a speedy recovery because they had to perform that evening.

I wandered over to another booth and found a fellow dressed as Locke from FFVI. He turned out to be William Kage who created the Six Engine, a game engine inspired by the SNES. He also does soundfonts that sound exactly like the game they represent. This is one impressive dude.

Drew introduced me to the indie game developers NITETIME Studios and their game Chrono Ghost. Of all the indie games there, this one showed the most promise. The art development is stunning and the gameplay is fun. It's a platformer in which you can speed, slow, and stop the flow of time to pass obstacles. I can't wait for the finished product.

Super Soul Bros were back in town and I caught their "secret" show at the MAG Underground. They had to leave their horn players behind due to logistics and cost (I feel ya, bro). Nonetheless, they jammed! I still can't comprehend how Robbie slays the bass part on the piano with his left hand and stays fully active with the right. Talent. Talent is the answer.

Guess who recovered from his hangover? Bit Brigade hit the stage to headline Friday night and they did not one, not two, but three fucking games in one hour! Because great minds think alike (or they work for NSA and they're watching my phone. I don't like people playing on my phone) it turns out they were playing motherfucking DuckTales. Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!


Guys, you can keep all of my gold. It means nothing anymore.

Day 3

This is the day you've been waiting for! Wario is back and he demands to be known as Wario the pussy hound. I stopped by a panel with Mega Ran, Richie Branson, and Sammus dropping knowledge on how to monetize your music. At the panel, Sebastian Wolff recognized me from last year and gave me a look that said, "this asshole again?" Yup. This asshole again.

I showed up to the Bit Brigade Q&A and found it refreshing that they also struggled with the fact that Duck Tales was off-brand for them. After your standard inquiries by the audience, I hit them with the important question of who gets laid the most. Of course, it was Noah. It's always the "lead singer."

It was time to head back to the room and pre-game. That's where we noticed Joe's cosplay looked like a hipster. So, now #HipsterOxKing is a thing.

After half a bottle of Crown, I still wasn't fazed. So, I hit the bar and ran into three women named Kat (Katrina, Kaitlyn, and something else). Kat was married, but she was making out with Kat (try not to get confused). I gave the husband some pointers and facilitated a three-way. After they headed upstairs for the ole' one two three, it was time to stalk my obsession ACMenes during her panel. Unfortunately, she's still with her boyfriend. But, I was able to negotiate a time-share. I wound up with Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's a start.

After a blur of drunkenness, I found myself in the concert hall for the Chip Rave where I joined and led many conga lines and dance circles. At one point everyone was bouncing and accenting the 1&3 beat. I managed to shift the entire crowd back onto the 2&4. It felt like I had tapped into some sort of superpower. Around this time I received a text from Drew telling me he was done for the night and this was my reply:

I'm still not entirely sure how to translate that message. After my crazy night, I woke up with a mysterious scar on my hand that looks like a penis.

And that's how I earned the nickname "Dick Knuckles."

Thanks, MAGfest. I had a blast as usual. Cya next year!

~ Scott


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